Sticking a foot in it
by Mage-Alia
Summary: One Shot! Once upon a time before they where Guardian Forces, Minator and Sacred where known as Edward and Alphonse Elric... and you know what? Ed still has height issues and woe to anyone stupid enough to remind him.


Final Fantasy VII/ Fullmetal Alchemist crossover.

* * *

Sticking a foot in it

By: Mage-Alia

* * *

Summary: A one shot! Once upon a time before they where Guardian Forces, Minator and Sacred where known as Edward and Alphonse Elric... and you know what? Ed still has height issues.

…and woe to anyone stupid enough to remind him.

* * *

"Brother?" The larger of the two beings asked in a voice that would have better belonged to a small child. "What do you think of these people? Should we go with them?" He looked down at the shorter purple guardian force and the said GF gave a meaty huff, folding both muscled arms over his chest and snorting.

"They don't look like much to me." Minator grumbled arrogantly and across the room Zell waved his fists in indignation, bouncing on his toes and spoiling for another fight.

"Don't look like much?" He shouted and Squall could suddenly guess what was coming. "I could say the same for yourself... SHORTY!" If it was even possible for the tomb to get any quieter than it was it happened in that moment. The air turned to sub-zero temperatures and Squall thought for a moment that Shiva might have summoned herself before he realized that it wasn't being caused by magic. No, it incredible feeling of approaching doom was coming from the smaller of the GF's perched on the coffin of the forgotten king.

Squall's self preservation instincts kicked in faster than a shot from his gun blade and he carefully began to edge back toward the exit. Screw being the Ice Prince, he was getting out of the crossfire and fast! He hadn't even made it more than a few paces before the GF finally moved.

"What... What did you just call me?" Minator asked in the dead silence, his golden colored eyes narrowing dangerously on Zell.

"Uh... Brother?" Sacred whimpered out edging away himself, but it didn't help one bit as Zell not so smartly replied.

"I called you a Shorty, MIDGET!" Zell was smirking now and Minator's purple face twitched again. Okay, so he'd been turned into some creature and charged with guarding the Tomb till the end of time but no one, not since his days as an alchemist, had dared to call him that. He continued to twitch almost convulsively and the seconds ticked by almost painfully until without so much as a seconds warning, he EXPLODED!

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PIPSQUEAK SO SMALL YOU CAN ONLY SEE THEM WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS!" Sacred uttered a small scream as his older brother picked him up with frightening strength and hurled him right at the stunned martial artist who didn't recover in time to get out of the way of the several hundred pounds of flying muscle and amour.

"I didn't say... AAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"

CRASH

"GUUURRkkkk!"

But nearly killing him wasn't enough for Minator, with a great roar that belied his size he leapt forward, shouting insults and tossing Zell around as Sacred tried and finally succeeded in crawling away from the carnage. Minator grabbed Zell by the ankles and began to belt him into the stone floor multiple times in a sledgehammer like move. Swirly eyed and bruised the blonde SEED was hard pressed to remain alert, not even bothering to try getting back at the GF who was wiping the floor with him.

"...AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT NOW YOU FREAKIN TALL BASTARD! WHO ASKED YOUR OPINION ANYWAY THIS... MIDGET... IS... GOING... TO... KICK... YOUR... ASS!!!!" The one sided argument continued along that vein for a while, Minator punctuating his words with the occasional body slam until Sacred finally plucked up the nerve to interfere.

"Uh... Brother? ...Brother?" Minator didn't respond.

"Minator?" He tried, but his little big brother wasn't responding to that either. Alphonse Elric, these days known as Sacred, sighed loudly and took a deep breath.

"EDWARD!"

Everyone present jumped as Al bellowed at him brother and pointed down at Zell.

"Brother... I think you killed him." Ed looked down at the limp mass of human flesh in his hands an yelped slightly, letting go of the teen's leg before backing off and regaining his disgruntled unapproachable air, an effect that was spoiled shortly after when Selphie gave out a loud squeal and bounced forward.

"Isn't he so CUTE!"

…Queue the sweat drops…

* * *

A/N: Aa… Just so you know, I really don't have anything against Zell. I like him… in fact, I'm sure that if I mentioned just how much I liked the character you'd have no choice to concede the point but at the moment, he was just the perfect character to have been caught in this situation. I mean, you gotta admit, aside from maybe Rinoa he has the highest record for accidentally doing or saying stupid things… no… wait a second! Zell has accidents. Rinoa does it on purpose!

(If it wasn't already obvious, I don't like Rinoa… which is probably the only reason she wasn't the one being beaten up by Ed. I'm not about to touch the subject of her with a ten foot pole!)

Anywhoo…. Did you like it?

Don't forget to review!

Cya!


End file.
